Who has a bad hairline jokes
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On a scale of 1 - 10, how lonely are you?
Can I take the scale home and cuddle with it?
Two neighbors meet on the street.
One: "Your cat killed my Rottweiler."
The other: "What? My dearest little Minka? Impossible!"
"Yes! My dog choked on her."
"Mommy, Mommy, Grandpa is dead!"
"What a bummer! Half of grandma is still in the fridge!"
A man comes to the doctor and says: "Doctor, I have a problem. My left testicle is all blue." The doctor looks at the matter and says with a frown: "It looks bad. You have to amputate your testicles." The man protests and says that it is not possible. Ultimately, however, the doctor can convince him, in the interests of his health, to have the testicle cut off.
A week later the man comes back to the doctor and says: "Doctor, now the right testicle has turned blue too." The doctor shakes his head and says in a serious voice: "The disease is more advanced. We can only stop it if we also cut off the second testicle." With a heavy heart, the man is convinced that this is the best solution.
A week later he's back at the doctor's. This time with a blue penis. He looks at the matter again and comes to the conclusion that the penis has to go too. The man whines and explains that he will then no longer be able to urinate. But the doctor promises to make him an elegant plastic prosthesis with which he can easily loosen the urine. So the penis is also cut off.
A week later the man comes back to the doctor and says: "Doctor, now I really have a problem. The plastic has turned blue." The doctor looks at the matter very carefully. After a while he says to the patient: "I have serious suspicions. Is it possible that your jeans will rub off?"
Why do officials have glasses?
So that you don't stick your pencil in the eye when you fall asleep.
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